Fuckin' a-hole piece of shit

It ain't my fault yer momma named you that! What the fuck is wrong with you? Must you be a baby your ENTIRE life? Am I suppossed to feel bad because you've got a mental condition??? Am I also suppossed to feel bad because you've got a quite a few disabilities you don't even know about? Does being so fucking miserable ever tire you out or does it just do that to the rest of us?? You really are a dick - you really really are! Do you even know that? Forget about you, what the fuck was I thinking? Really, I mean what the fuck? How did I ever last 13 years? As miserable as you still make me because I still have to deal with you, I am 1000 x's happier now than i've ever been. So thank you, you fuckin' a-hole piece of shit! Thanks for giving me two of the most amazing human beings in the world. Thanks for making me realize what a gift life can be without your presence. Thanks for forcing me to muster up all the strength and courage locked deep inside of me to crawl my way out of your muck. And oh yeah, thanks for nothing you two-bit fuckin' a-hole piece of shit!!!!!

Happy

Saw Ben Folds with my bro. Ben Folds makes me happy. My bro makes me happy. Remembering to exercise makes me happy. Chad when he's he's cute like a baby chick makes me happy but when he's mean like a rhinocerous well not so much. Brandon pretty much always makes me happy 'cept when he loses his brand new winter coat or says "i have NO idea" when i ask him where his h/w is. Kids in general make me happy - 'specially lil kids - 'specially lil kids w special needs -- they be keepin it real. Words, condiments, new school supplies, and new clothes make me happier than a person even has a right to be. Being on time to work makes me not sad so on that note i gotta motor.

A piece of work

Being called "a piece of work" is what I myself consider quite a high compliment. My friend Matt, well he kind of disagrees that that is something I should strive for although he himself has called me a piece of work on more than one occassion. Last week, as i walked into my therapist office late once again full of pomp AND circumstance she said "enough already --I get that you are very funny --I get that you are very intelligent --You have been entertaining me for weeks -BUT Who are you??? and (dare she say it?) What are you feeling??? (Yup she dared!!!). I would guess she would not consider setting ones sights on the ultimate "piece of work" compliment a goal worthy of striving for -- at least not to the exclusion of other lofty goals. Is this compliment my ultimate defense mechanism, part of the larger picture we know as the "linda show" (fan hands out in front of chest - smile and say "ta-da" ---a little soft shoe couldn't hurt either), and/or my own little wall to protect me from those damn feelings (don't even think about telling me that my last choice is the same as my first choice because the wall to protect me from my damn feelings constitutes --yes we all know it -- a defense mechanism ---so don't EVEN think about it). I love being unique, different, offbeat, marching to own drummer --Im NOT gonna give that up -- but maybe just maybe i'll try and leave some room for some of those dastardly feelings to creep in.

Things I do When Im Not Packing

*Blog
*"Cruise" J-date looking for the fresh kosher meat
*Shop online for furniture & file cabinets
*Thank my lucky stars that I've been sprung
*Wonder & question how one prioritizes anything
*Watch The Big Lebowski
*make To Do Lists
*Wish myself one month into the future
*Chastise self for wishing away precious time
*Listen to rockin' good music
*Take a long hot bath - the longer -the hotter - the better!
*Ponder the past - marvel at the present - & dream about the future

The Aristocrats

Damn - that was hell of a movie. I knew i wanted to see it the minute I read about it in my parents copy of Entertainment Weekly. You know the one - The 7 Best Documentaries You Don't Want To Miss This Year. I think Tom fuckin Cruise was on the cover or something. Well, if my memory serves me correctly there was that documentary about penguins marching and also one about wheelchair chicks playing competetive sports but reading about this Aristocrat thingy well that was something else. A documentary (yes my favorite movie format) about not only comedians but about comedians telling an "inside-joke" with ABSOLUTELY no boundaries. Your telling me (or maybe it's the other way around) that there are no lines to cross in this movie because the lines have been BLOWN TO BITS! Yes, my friends, it was all that and more. The only thing better than laughing my ass off at the ridiculously vulgar & scatological humor was watching those that couldn't handle it walk out of the theater in pure disgust. I hope they were able to find the cleansing holy water they were seeking. I think my friend Matt (world famous ISTJ) said it best with "it really was medicinal to my soul". So you can keep your You've Got Mail's and War of the Worlds (Fuckin Cruise Man ) - Me and mine will stick to some good ole Incest-rich, blood and beastiality describing, Carlins' "7 words you cant say on TV and then some" infused movie-fun.

The anti-christ stikes again (or Now I've gone and done it)

Tonite as I was cleaning up in the kitchen - I accidently threw away a stray ice cream tub top that was left lying on the counter. As a result, he (being the anti-christ) grabbed the children's chicken and broccoli out of hands and yelled, "Would you like it if i threw this away?" - I wonder if that was suppossed to be a rhetorical question? Later, I came up and asked him (yup a.c.) if he was still giving the kids a bath - I was met with silence. I possibly asked another question and was met with more of the same. So, I guess i've really gone and done it now - a crime that no amount of begging and pleading (ha- like that would happen) will erase - a crime that is irreperable with the possible exception of some saran wrap and a rubber band. Maybe i'll be lucky and the next 14 days of this marital co-existence will end in complete silence. It will be fun dividing the remaining furniture and signing this damn separation agreement without speaking.

My shalom-bayit is so close i can taste it baby!!!!

"ooh child things are gonna get easier - ooh child things will be brighter"

ENFP

Had this great idea for a post about being a world famous ENFP but then my brother had to go and tell me, "nanny nanny boo-boo it's already been done" Now let me tell you that my response to him was in fact quite profound, if i do say so myself, which was "Soooooo"!!! No actually it was ,"Im not trying to invent the wheel here fella (my brother loves it when i call him fella) plus while Im sure there is a blog out there about someone being a world famous ENFP Im pretty damn positive that there is not in fact a blog out there written by someone else about ME being a world famous ENFP - so stick that in your nanny nanny boo boo and smoke it!!!

Ok so Im this ENFP the Myers-Briggs equivalent of a charming, addictive-personality, beginner not ender of tasks, interupting sort, story gathering & telling, disorganized, "woo-woo", advice giving, emotional, bleeding heart, sappy, ADHD riddled, witty, run-on sentence writing , sort of chick. It might not be the fucking equivalent of the "wheel" but i'd say i just wrote a damn good blog!

Get a life

A few months ago my kids Kindergarten(it's not an actual garden folks) teacher tells me what I need to do is get a life. It was an offhanded social remark made in an attempt to be supportive to my situation at the time. SHE does not remember saying it. I may remember it forever if Im lucky. Hot damn I think i've got a life now - the kind she was referring too. The kind that actually involves fun, meeting new people, taking chances, making choices and does not involve being a caretaker to anyone other than myself. Of course when Im working or being a mommy I do the caretaking thing constantly. I take it seriously. The comment Leah made was probably in reference to some caretaking advice I was esposing at the moment. Im good at advice. In the past few weeks I've given less advice, had quite a few moments where my job, my marriage, my kids were not at the forefront of my mind and not a topic of conversation at all. I believe the comment had more to do with balance than anything - that and what any one person at any one time constitutes to be "a life". All I know is that now i've got one - I'd be hard pressed to give it it up. Hot damn!!!!

Saw some good movies

Does it get any better than sittin in a dark movie theater seeing a great movie (or movies as the case may be) drinking a big drink, eating a big popcorn, and crying your eyes out. God, I just love it. The heavier the darker the better. Don't get me wrong - I love a great happy movie but I don't go to the movies to feel "GOOD" - I think I go to the movies to feel deep. I kinda feel deep all the time but people don't tend to dig that about me - I overwhelm with with my emotions and my run-ons. Is there a blog out there about indie movies? If so send me that link

Gotta go Fox is showing an episode of "Stars Without Their Make-up" - Just kiddin - not about the show unfortunately - just about it being on now (wont be on till Thursday - sorry folks) and about my actually watching it. That commercial just reaffirmed my love for really great heavy movies. Could that love come from my dad watching M*A*S*H with me when I was about 8 - gotta love that straight-jacket scene. Ta da!

So I can't remember my login name

or my password (big deal)
So I lose my wallet and my checkbook in two separate incidents within the same week
So I can't manage to get to sleep at a decent hour
So we cant get a snow day this year to save our lives
So I gotta get a divorce
So I gotta organize & finalize the whole separation agreement myself
So I gotta do just about everything responsible in my family

Big Fat F-in Deal!

AT LEAST I GOTTA LOTTA MEDICAL PENS!!!!

So Blog This!